brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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