she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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