I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize