I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
