wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
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