just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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