Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
