I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
