she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
