She announced her abortion via fbk
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
