I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
