Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
