I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
