I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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