also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
