The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
