The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
