coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
