if you like me you must not know who I am
At least make sure they are 18
Why
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
