I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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