never play flip cup with pint glasses
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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