Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
