A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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