these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
