Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
