I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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