Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
