I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
