Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
