My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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