do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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