woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
