The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
