So drunk its hurt
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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