let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
