so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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