The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
