Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
