you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
