don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
