they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
