This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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