R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize