nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
This toilet bowl is my home.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
