sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
