i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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