you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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