Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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