what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
True strength comes from lack of pants
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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