Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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