i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
