haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
