I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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