The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
