dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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