very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize