:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
