hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
