nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
