She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize