Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
